My husband, twin sister Gwennie and I just sent out the first 54 advance reader copies on Thursday, a momentous day. And how did I respond? Was I jumping up and down? Giddy? Whooping and hollering?
No. I blubbered like a baby. My sister hugged me and kept patting me on the back, hushing out the words, There, there now. There, there." While she was hugging me, the most beautiful thing happened right next to this table full of books: I could hear the sound of her lungs breathing in and out as I felt the rise and fall of her chest against mine. At that moment, I felt like I was back in the womb with her.
It sounds strange to say, but my memory of the sounds, the whooshing, the warm was crystal clear. I was just about to say something, then she pulled away and looked me in the eyes, "You know, something happened several months ago that I never told you about. We were hugging like this and I could hear your heartbeat. When I went home I told Stan, "I heard Karey's heartbeat when we were hugging today and I remembered exactly what it was like being in the womb with her."

Back to my blubbering: I was surprised at the flood of feelings that washed over me like a bucket full of memories dumped into me: years worth of fibromyalgia pain, fatigue, realizing the God-given gift to write was my connection to the bigger world, feelings of exhaustion, fear of what my former husband will say or do if I ever become a public name, the constant wearing down of so many unnecessary and fruitless hearings, and the years of yearning and hoping this book will open the door to spending more--and joyfully healing--time with my family. But mostly I felt grateful relief.
This is Gwennie and Patrick, unloading boxes of packaged copies.
Patrick, Me, and our heroic lady at the post office, MehlRee.
MehlRee wanted to see how high the piles could get before she took them to the back of the Post Office. We had quite a few chuckles! Come to find out, we can print up the mailing labels at home and drop off the books. This way was much more fun the first time around. Thanks MehlRee!